Their chief rivals are Da East Staines Massiv. Da West Staines Massiv are heartbroken to learn that their beloved hangout the John Nike Leisure Centre where Ali teaches a life support group for young schoolboys will be demolished by the local council so they decide to protest. After he goes on a hunger strike and is spotted chained to some railings by the Chancellor of the Exchequer and Deputy Prime Minister David Carlton, he is drawn into a world of political intrigue as the Deputy Prime Minister tries to use Ali as a tool to destroy the Prime Minister's credibility. Ali is put forward as a candidate to be the next MP for Staines and manages to alienate most who cross his path. During a debate with his rival candidate, Ali tries to insult his rival by claiming that he "sucked off a horse" but the rival unintentionally confesses to Ali's claim and Ali wins. Out of his depth as a Member of Parliament, Ali's bizarre behaviour and solutions seem to work. He visits a customs checkpoint in Dover as a delegate compiling a report.