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Steve’s Harvey’s 5 Questions Women Should Ask Before Getting Serious | The Oprah Winfrey Show | OWN

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Comedian Steve Harvey makes finding the right man easy with a simple five-question survey to help separate the pretenders from the real deal. For more on #oprahwinfreyshow, visit http://bit.ly/1ODj0x7 Find OWN on TV at http://www.oprah.com/FindOWN #OWNTV #oprahwinfreyshow #Oprahwinfrey SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/1vqD1PN Download the Watch OWN App: http://bit.ly/2hr1nX2 About OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. Oprah Winfrey's heart and creative instincts inform the brand -- and the magnetism of the channel. Winfrey provides leadership in programming and attracts superstar talent to join her in primetime, building a global community of like-minded viewers and leading that community to connect on social media and beyond. OWN is a singular destination on cable. Depth with edge. Heart. Star power. Connection. And endless possibilities. Discover OWN TV: Find OWN on your TV!: http://bit.ly/1wJ0ugI Our Fantastic Lineup: http://bit.ly/1qMi2jE Connect with OWN Online: Visit the OWN WEBSITE: http://bit.ly/1qMi2jE Like OWN on FACEBOOK: http://on.fb.me/1AXYujp Follow OWN on TWITTER: http://bit.ly/1sJin8Y Follow OWN on INSTAGRAM: http://bit.ly/LnqzMz Follow OWN on PINTEREST: http://bit.ly/2dvfPeN Steve’s Harvey’s 5 Questions Women Should Ask Before Getting Serious | The Oprah Winfrey Show | OWN http://www.youtube.com/user/OWN
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Text Comments (229)
Anna Antonino (13 days ago)
Yes, Sir!
happy gilmore (17 days ago)
These are stupid question his momma could be a drunken abuser he could be lying about his goals. Truth is a lot of it is down to timing energy and luck. Some are luckier in love than others
Jojo Breez (18 days ago)
Oprah reactions are annoying
Sunnyiced Queen (1 month ago)
I disagree a bit with the love of a mother bit as a child cannot choose his/her parents function or dysfunction. I think the right way to put it is how does the man or woman acknowledge and respect the parent regardless.....that is key. The degree determines how he/she deals with people's characters in general.
Pat Muniazo (1 month ago)
Steve send me that book am in Namibia please +264812209803 thnx..
W. Noel Robbins (1 month ago)
R Y (1 month ago)
I was with a guy who LOVED his mother but treated me like crap. Its not always the case.
writerspen010 (1 month ago)
For the most part, I think these are good questions to ask, but I do not agree with that one about how his relationship with his mother, and how much he does or does not love her, is indicative of how he will or will not love you. Family relationships are nowhere near that simple. And if this were really true, when it comes to discussing red flags of that nature, why then does nobody say that how a woman loves her father is indicative of how she will love a man? Why are a woman's "daddy issues" made to be a joke, whereas a man's issues with his mother write him off as incapable of love? It's ridiculous, and comments like that need to stop.
LOTUS DOLL LITTLE (1 month ago)
these are great... ya working on
NaturalDivineGoddess (2 months ago)
You Got To Have STANDARDS To Make Chivalry Come YOUR Way.."
NaturalDivineGoddess (2 months ago)
"You're NOT Going To RUN The Guy Off That REALLY WANTS You.."
NaturalDivineGoddess (2 months ago)
"DON'T Be Afraid To Ask These Questions.."
Branden Haralson (2 months ago)
Biggest crock of BS i've ever heard...
Julianne McCulloch (2 months ago)
He's also told me about his short-term and long-term goals, basically I know what he thinks about me I know he feels about me, so those are pretty good questions I would say.
Julianne McCulloch (2 months ago)
Iran has a great relationship with his mother talks about her all the time. His last relationship was with the woman who Hester Hester didn't go to church go to church go to church go to church, not once did I ask him to go to church I gave her a few Bible verses that talk about God to him and talk about how I love God all the good stuff and then one day he told me you know what because of you went to church had a good feeling about God, because of you, you inspired me to go.
Mein Leben (3 months ago)
Amazing <3
Spencer Williams (3 months ago)
I think steve Harvey gives the worse dating advice............. Ever
Lulu Sanchez (4 months ago)
On the FIRST DATE?!?! No way!....I'm not even sure if I will enjoy a simple meal with him?....why even bother on the therapy session this will bring on? Maybe after a month.....
Sarah Colbert (5 months ago)
This is true about the mom ....ask and get nothing in return EYEBALLS OPENER....🤔🙇‍♂️🤷‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️💖😏but never trade Love for Hate move on peacefully and learn ....Become a better You but never as I have learned Go backward......
Always Right (5 months ago)
Yes Good honest advice 🤗 I love it
Rena Williams (7 months ago)
Matthew Burroughs (8 months ago)
Rather play wow.
41kils (8 months ago)
A 3x divorced man and a never married never had kids woman giving advice on finding the right man to go the distance and start a family with lol
mike scott (8 months ago)
Harvey the ultimate simp.
Thanos (8 months ago)
Sounds more like an interview than a date. No time for that
Derrick Ivery (9 months ago)
laughingallthetime50 (9 months ago)
Dear God in Heaven! If you asked a man some of these questions, he'd run for the hills!
Chris C (9 months ago)
Sorry ladies. As a guy I can confirm to you that these are crap questions. To be honest, the best thing to do is OBSERVE how he behaves towards OTHERS. In PARTICULAR observe how a guy behaves towards people who are NOT in the ROOM. Does he denigrate and criticize people who aren't there to speak up for themselves? Walk the other way. Does he take short cuts? Walk the other way. Does he lie to other people? Walk the other way... OBSERVE. Do not ASK... OBSERVE
logichip (1 month ago)
Great advice on observing, not asking straight out. But then how do I tell the difference between him criticizing the people who are not in the room to speak up for themselves and him telling stories about certain people and sharing his observations? Is it a rule of thumb to never discuss other people unless you have good things to say about them? Cause for example my girlfriends and I talk about people who do certain things that make us want to discuss, is this something we should avoid doing? Trying to figure out if I have bad habits to get rid of :P
Caz Mataz (3 months ago)
As a woman, I am going with this advice because it is spot on. Actions speak louder than words.
#entertainment (9 months ago)
Y does he attack men
Lucky & Blessed (10 months ago)
The "think and feel" about me questions are cliche and are kinda similar!
clinton adinkrah (10 months ago)
Men will just tell women what they wanna hear.You ask him these questions and he’ll tell you what you wanna hear. It’s not what he says or how he answers the questions it’s about his actions. A man will love you when he decides in mind and heart to do so. All these questions aren’t gonna change anything. He’s just going to give you the answers you wanna hear. Am a man and I know what am saying.
Samantha Renee (10 months ago)
Now what if the man doesn't like is mother bcuz he was abused by her? I was abused mentally by my dad and he was mentally abused by his mom. She called him fat, restricted what he ate. At 5 years old. And he wasn't a chubby kid by no means. We bounded over how strong we were and how we didn't take that abuse and make us do stupid stuff like drugs. He is the man that made me realize. They are not all like my dad.
Ainsley Flint (10 months ago)
And he can just go ahead and lie about all of it to sucker you in.
Joseph Lemischak (10 months ago)
So did Steve Harvey just say that a man who was an orphan or their mother died or was abusive is not worth being with? Wow what a trash bag
Lisa Sylvester (11 months ago)
There are men out there who don't have a goal, a plan or a parrot
TheSweet80s (11 months ago)
Wow!👊 Amazing advice Steve. Thank you so much for this! ❤...But not sure about; If a man does not have a good strong relationship with his Mother will make him a bad catch? 😯
fturla (11 months ago)
If a certain girl were to ask me what I think about her, I would say she is marriage material. You are ready, and no man will be able to resist you because you are a beautiful and caring person. In a way, I just said I would marry her in an instant which would be true.
G! Force (11 months ago)
Oprah is not a good role model. Besides, Steve is just selling the book. READ the book, so what. Strong BLACK women are still single.
latoya m (1 year ago)
Steve how would you know the truth they lie like hell to get what they want.
H DLT (1 year ago)
Idk about that...my mom is the reason I’m messed up...she doesn’t trust anyone...so I don’t value her opinion
Si Señor (1 year ago)
Too much thinking.
Betty Fouche (1 year ago)
Truth. The cookie will not make jimvgi b to Church. Either he g I es willingly or not at all. FACTS
Roots (1 year ago)
That's BS about the mom. What if the mom was a crack head, pimping him out, stealing from him? Come on man. Just because a man was born to a fool doesn't mean that he's destined to never be able to know love.
Mario Bruni (1 year ago)
When I ask my girlfriend about her mum..i learnt that she doesn't have anything to do with her.so I let her go..
Winston Elliton2 (1 year ago)
I believe that if you want love you have to give it. Never ask for something that you can't or are unwilling to give. Give and take, reaping and sowing. I especially wish women would accept the possibility that chivalry is dead because they killed it.
Frankie Mayes (1 year ago)
Some mothers don't deserve to be loved or have contact.
Mary Smith (1 year ago)
You will never have me
Kid Psykie (1 year ago)
Chivalry dead “You killed it”. Dave Chappell Voice!!!!😁
Stacy Hughes Fremin (1 year ago)
Short term, long term goals...views on Mom, God and attending church, what do you think about me....last what do you feel about me? Great set of q's
D R (1 year ago)
Steve Harvey really has no place talking “relationshipss”
BlackRock Tile (1 year ago)
Lots of mothers are not great....I had a good mother ...but I've seen women who should never have had children ......simple minded ...he's selling a load of ....
Stoyann Awolowo (1 year ago)
Steve is on point, i had to deal with a man who did not value me and he didn't have a good relationship with his mom.
cloud y (1 year ago)
Preprogrammed man that doesn't really feels what is saying isn't attractive.
CRM Potential (1 year ago)
What about people raised in single parent homes? Is a woman unsuitable because she had no relationship with her father? It’s a double edged sword
Inspiration Station (1 year ago)
"If he's incapable of loving his mother, please know, he's incapable of loving you."  That was a HUGE wow moment for me. I dated a guy who disliked his mother and had a broken relationship with her. He treated me like gold until I did one little thing to him (I'm going to make a video about this), then he cut me off. I was floored. Steve's comment is sooo on point!!
bella4644 (1 year ago)
He's good, not only in the wisdom he imparts but a powerful speaker too.
Florence Zizo (1 year ago)
True shame really true!
Margaret Smallwood (1 year ago)
He's giving some great advice.
Sash Mishra (1 year ago)
You don’t my mother Steve. You never had a mother who has resented your birth and very existence...how are you supposed to love someone who has wanted you dead the minute you were born.
Alton Finklea (1 year ago)
That's a lie some men love their women and don't love their mothers. Depends on the relationship.
FateOfTheElephant (1 year ago)
SOS! HELP! PLEASE: When is it the right time to ask what do you thunk about me?
Rachelle Moore (1 year ago)
I don't agree about not loving your mother and not having a relationship with her, is a red flag. Mothers and/or Fathers, who were abusive to their children, don't usually have good relationships with them.
J (1 year ago)
Here's the thing. Mean & women can both have a good marriage, if we accept who each other is. This Church thing. Some men have social anxeity. I've seen many good marriages where the man and woman do not attend church together. As long as they're okay with it, it doesn't matter what others think. He may believe in God. It's a good thing, surely, if he does. One thing that could be an ice-breaker, is one doesnt believe in God. I do think, its important that both believe in God. Let your spouses have their space. Wife might like crafts. Husband might like hunting, football, or just to watch tv. Let each other enjoy life. Important: never get so wrapped up in yourselves, that the marriage might suffer. Find time for one another. Even if it's a weekly outing or just sitting home cuddling, watching tv -- whatever, makes you both happy. Never spend too much time away from home. Unless, it's for work. Bottom line: love one another in your own way, find a medium, be content. Doesn't matter what everyone else thinks or does. We all are different. We don't need society or anyone else telling us how we should live our lives. I'm here to tell you, men and women are confused. We are living in an complicated world. Things are changing. What works for some marriages, doesn't and Isn't always going work for others. Get away from all the hype, the phony. Be content with yourselves. Do what's best for you and yours, as long as no one is abusing, or being abused. Society, needs to get a grip on what's real.
ZGERMAN (1 year ago)
How do you feel about me, as soon as you meet him?
michael barnett (1 year ago)
Black women are one of the major problems in the black community. As a people who have historically received so much hatred, we so desperately deserve love and respect. However, I found that Black Women have a lot of problem such as attitudes problem, anger problem, they belittled their men, and they don’t know how to submit themselves. Black women represent small-mindedness, fearfulness, and laziness in the black community. As a consequence they can be easily manipulated by people in a position of power; it’s any wonder why 95% of Black Women consistently voted for the Democratic Party since the 1950s without wanting anything good in return. The truth is that Black women who have this inferior lazy mentality cannot in anyway help the black men to rise out of their poverty. According to the U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988; 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes and 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. Most problematic Black men in the society today are raised up by single Black women. The question is why is this so? It’s because of the decline of marriage among blacks. Some people argue that black women, in particular, place little value on marriage, although there are social deprivations which make it hard for some black women to find suitable partners. The fact is that the seed of Africa mental slavery survives in the mindset of the Black women. These dependency slavery mentalities have a tendency to transfer to young children over a period of time and become the stumbling block and the hindrances to stop young Black men from arising out of poverty to achieve prosperity. Interracial dating can be a beautiful thing, and both Black men and women should be encouraged to date outside their race. There is no problem with a Black man dating interracial, but it becomes a problem if he refuses to date Black women based on stereotypes, preconceived notions, and unconscious self-hatred. The interracial relationship can help people to become more open to learning about a new perspective, escape from our ideological viewpoint, learn about new culture, learn how to invest money and manage a business, become more aware of intolerance and make new friends. Black women are the problem in the black community and in order to help the Black men to arise out of poverty, the Black women must change their mentality.
HandyMan101 (1 year ago)
Chivalry is dead, and women killed it.
mack 360 (1 year ago)
Alot of them broads in that room still by they self. Alot of them looked washed up and shot including Oprah
sean sims (1 year ago)
Wow I flunk all those questions. I'm just getting by, I can't afford to go out on date.
Justin Smith (1 year ago)
Chivalry is dead, feminism killed, and no one is taking the blame
Dynamic Duelingduo (1 year ago)
All true
kingtutakhamon (1 year ago)
Steve Harvey knows AMERICAN men, he doesn't know foreign men. They think totally different!
Martha Michael (2 months ago)
How do they think please?
Steven Rice (1 year ago)
These aren't really the best questions on the first date. Steve swear he know what he talking about. Whatcho talm bout?!
T G (1 year ago)
Steven Rice. Talk to us.. What would be the questions to ask?
TheLeigha72 (1 year ago)
He is brilliant!❤️
Lb Prince (2 years ago)
steve have no clue
Iluv2bblk (2 years ago)
I asked a guy what are his goals he flipped out and said he wasnt trying to get married just to date
Jack Pea (10 months ago)
Iluv2bblk That is good you did not waste your time.
Olivia. Life (2 years ago)
Can't jump on w his relationship with his mother if she's a crack addict and an abusive alcoholic.
bcc bg (2 years ago)
"Chivalry is not dead. Chivalry is just not required anymore."
Grunge punk (2 years ago)
I really adore you Steve! and Oprah no words can express...Thank you guys!
sharelle countz (2 years ago)
im not asking questions because i dont do relationships
Petit Tall (8 months ago)
Are you religious or what?
Adrian Smith (2 years ago)
Steve was preaching in that room, I hope men and women were listening.
blahblahblah (2 years ago)
But what about the man that grew up in foster care and never met his mom cause she abandoned him? Of course he's going to hate or dislike her. Things arent as general as he makes it seem
Steve Harvey has had several failed marriages because of fame and him having affairs with other women while married in the past. How can he be a relationship expert or give advice when his relationships have failed? How do people even take him seriously? Television is powerful because in the so called African community. Critical thinking is obsolete and television reinforces that behavior. Food for thought, hopefully
Chris C (8 months ago)
Ad Hominem attacks don't refute the logic of his advice. I do disagree with him, but it has nothing to do with his past behavior. I just look at the advice itself, no matter where it came from and i can tell you flat out as a guy these questions are crap. You cannot find out the measure of a man through direct inquiry. If they want to know how to weed out the jerks you WATCH the guy behave. Particularly how he behaves towards people NOT in the room. Stop trying to get the truth from a guy by asking direct questions. That's just stupid.
Sexy Max Without an doubt.
Blessed Soul (2 years ago)
Tone B fame is a mans biggest curse to his marriage because i can garuntee u women will tempt you left right and centre.
TheCultLeader In Chief (2 years ago)
Because sucess cames from failure, experience and maturity. I prefer to receive advice from someone who had a living experience, than someone that has no idea of what he is talking about.
TheOriginalMoc (2 years ago)
her asking about my goals is a red flag for me' it gives the impression she's after money.
Lisa x (3 months ago)
How’s single life boys? Smh
HandyMan101 (1 year ago)
They are too women.
Sosmcs See (2 years ago)
TheOriginalMoc goals aren't always about money.
DrIncognito (2 years ago)
Steve and Oprah in the same room. It doesn't get any better than this. Oh, except for Eric Thomas. Great personalities!
Vulka P (2 years ago)
Do you know what YOUR mаn is thinking? https://twitter.com/d8e9b320865db6f5c/status/804693412402241537 Stevеâ s Harveyâ s 5 Questions Women Should Аsk Befoorе Getting Seriоus Thе Oprаh Winfrey Shoow OWN
Jaimy Benjamin (2 years ago)
Mr harvey is such a smart man
Muktar Hossen (2 years ago)
Guys. influence your man to treat you better doesn't need to be hard (I used to think it did). I'll give you some advice now. Look for a popular dating course called Troplusfix Dating Secrets (google search it). Thanks to it I've I have change the way my man treats me. I probably should not even be talking about it cause I don't really want lots of other guys out there running the same game but whatever. I'm just in a excellent mood today so I will share the wealth lol.
christina love (2 years ago)
Man this is why I love Steve Harvey, he knows all the right things to say.
Blu (2 years ago)
Won't they lie though, to get where they want ?...
Kim Cham (1 year ago)
Blu: Absolutely! And that is no reflection on the woman asking the questions.
Melissa Jennings (1 year ago)
Exactly what I was thinking! I have been lied to on several occasions asking just a few of these!
Joanna Wert (3 years ago)
And then there are those mama's boys who've never untied the apron strings and let their mothers control them.
MeaLenea Homer (3 years ago)
Women should ask these questions to themselves as well.
Mulokwa Philip (1 month ago)
You are beautiful Homer.
Kyle (1 year ago)
Yes love your comment! We must all ask ourselves these questions!
Blessed Soul (2 years ago)
z Biite thats called being a hoe
z Biite (2 years ago)
Fr because I have one friend, she's jumping out of different relationships left and right. I'm like the reason you're not finding "the one" is because you're not giving them a chance. Like I kid you not she breaks up with guys after two weeks.
Ferney1c (3 years ago)
Sorry I do not agree that if a man can't live his mother, he can't love you. Some people have dysfunctional parents. I worked in court. Some of those kids needed to run, not walk, and race away from their family. You have the wrong idea on this one.
The Angel (2 months ago)
+Alexis Carter so if the guy is overprotected and treated like a child by his mother well into his early 20's , he will expect his future wife to have the same role? Do men break out of this somehow?
Dusica Radenkovic (3 months ago)
It os proven that your ralationship with your parents are doing damage in your personal relationshiops. Called momy issues and daddy issues. He obviousli talking about those who are not caoable to love not those who had horrible parents. Just think little bit.
sharon hillman (6 months ago)
I'm sure these are exceptions because that would be understandable is a man or a woman came from a dysfunctional home. He is speaking in general.
KJ the Junger (8 months ago)
Ferney1c shut up. men w mommy issues are emotionally unavailable.
zakaria zrig (1 year ago)
I believe what steve really meant is the general situation and not the drop in the sea. If his mother isn't a dysfunctional but he has a bad relationship with her, maybe he's the problem and he'll do the same to his future wife !!
BangEmBeatZ (3 years ago)
LOL this is funny stuff. a comedian giving relationship advice plus he on his 3rd marriage. Women gonna believe this stuff and be single there entire life. Men will shoot the question right back at you. LOL wow
Starlight5 (3 years ago)
Excellent point on chivalry.  Well done Steve.  Great advice.  My dad would definitely agree with you right away.  God bless you.
AnonVocals (3 years ago)
All these questions are based on the assumption that the guy will give you sincere honest answers and not just tell you what you want to hear; just to get the 'cookie'. That is the difficulty of asking such questions as most guys who are just after the 'cookie' are going to be dishonest. And how many times have a heard a woman say 'he told me he loved me'.. Just because he said it (professed it) doesn't make it true.
Ben J (3 years ago)
*Here's what I have to say - MGTOW* Cause women have nothing to offer men.... Nuff said, thank you for coming.
Anna Vajda (1 year ago)
Ben J nobody is watching this video to hear what your opinion is you narcissistic lowlife.
Charity 777 (1 year ago)
Ben J please do go your own way and thanks.
Kim Cham (1 year ago)
Is this because MGTOW men like "the cookie" from other men? In these cases, MGTOW men have no reason to be in a romantic relationship with women. So what's your point for even watching this video, let alone posting a comment?
purple sassy (3 years ago)
i agree with him
Lee Johnston (3 years ago)
I totally disagree with the mother thing, Its not that simple. So if your mother is some sort of scumbag alcoholic or whatever Id cut her off. Takes a strong man with morals to let go of a bond that strong. So lots of good guys don't see there mothers.
Daveiana Asher (2 months ago)
He could say “I don’t have a good relationship with my mother, I’ll explain as I get to know you more.”
Daveiana Asher (2 months ago)
I feel you, but that’s where the male would explain why he doesn’t have a good relationship with his mom. Maybe not on a first date though.
Bubba Lou (1 year ago)
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Subhajit Chatterjee (2 years ago)
And mostly mama's boys tend to transform to wife's lapdog when they marry.
Lee Johnston (3 years ago)
+Stephen Seide Yeah that's it man people like to categorize things to make it easier to deal with. Hes fallen int o this trap the guy has charisma and obviously has had a lot of life experience but these guys aren't 100% right all the time I think a lot of people mainly younger people and woman just look at the girl in the crowd faffing over what he says. that's dangerous cause now all the girls that have listened to this will think that of good guys that don't like their mothers aren't worth a shot. that is wrong.
Lee48Lee (3 years ago)
I love that man!
Mr W.A.D. (3 years ago)
Steve Harvey Just drop some serious Gems

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